June 04, 2003

It starts like this, I suppose


It starts like this, I suppose. A blank page waiting to be filled with mild musings, wild flights of fancy, and everything in between. I have a website, http://www.greyhawkmanor.org, but by the time I get around to updating anything I have forgotten HTML and must relearn everything from scratch. At one point I kept an online portfolio at Writing.com, but endless hassles with the paranoid hacker who runs the joint resulted in two portfolios being deleted, the first by me, the second by him. It wouldn't be so bad except in the end the loss of both portfolios resulted in his confiscating over $400 of my hard-earned cash. Criminal complaints have so far gone unnoticed. I guess the FBI is too busy looking for Osama Bin Laden.

I don't know if this blog will ever amount to anything, but I'll run with it for a little while and see how it goes.

Cheers to anyone who wastes a minute reading this!

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Reflections from the Future

March 7, 2010

Greyhawkmanor.org no longer exists and has not existed for about three years. I have a new portfolio at Writing.com, "Brian K Miller", which proves true the old adage about dogs and vomit. There is never very much there, and not a day goes by that I don't consider deleting it entirely, but there it remains and once a year I send them a check to keep it current. I haven't had any problems with the management since I created the new portfolio, but then, I don't spend as much time using their resources as I once did.

Also, Osama Bin Laden is still at large, assuming his failing kidneys have not killed him yet. Rumor has it he is hiding in Pakistan, but nobody seems to know for sure.

August 8, 2016

Thirteen years, 652 posts, and two Kindle books later.

Osama bin Laden was indeed in Pakistan. A SEAL team killed him on May 2, 2011 and dumped his body at sea. Both this blog and my Writing.com account are still online; although I don't participate in the community at Writing.com and I don't add new posts to this blog with any kind of regularity. After all this effort it is undeniable that very few people are interested in what I have to say, so either my skill at writing has never matched my confidence or my writing simply lacks any real content, which pretty much amounts to the same thing. And yet I keep pounding away at this keyboard trying to make a difference, although nowadays I am filled with doubt rather than optimism.

Anne Frank was wrong. People are not essentially good. Human nature is essentially self-absorbed and self-focused with little or no regard for anyone else. We each walk through life at the center of our own little universe convinced we are a kind of petty god and the world exists solely for what we can take from it. I can't even go so far as to call us "selfish". We are each utterly and completely self-absorbed, even the few good people who wander around like village idiots pouring out acts of kindness no one deserves and very few appreciate. And yes, that includes me, on both counts: completely self-absorbed village idiot pouring out acts of kindness.

My youth was filled with optimism, my middle age was the domain of reluctant acceptance, and as I move into old age pessimism has begun to reign supreme. I don't know if this is a natural progression or merely the end product of countless bad choices. The one thing I do know is that every day it gets harder and harder to find something worth writing about, and yet, every day I write about something.

After a lifetime of philosophical, religious, and ethical studies, it turns out the fundamental nature of human existence is narcissism.


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