July 24, 2003

Movie Madness




I saw Chicago last month. It stank. I've got better things to do with my time than sit around and let Hollywood laugh at my unswerving loyalty to the silver screen. Besides, the lead actresses were far too skinny for my taste.

I also saw Matrix Reloaded. It was better than Chicago, but I'll never develop homoerotic fantasies for Keanu Reeves, and the chick that played Trinity has gotten even skinnier than she was in the first one!

Will Hollywood ever rediscover "pleasantly plump"? Good grief but I hope so!

On the other hand, Angelina Jolie is back for another whirl as Lara Croft. Now there's a woman I could happily spend two hours watching strut her stuff. Her acting skill and dynamic characterizations are a pleasant bonus. Oh, that reminds me, I also saw Charlie's Angels Full Throttle. When did Demi lose all that weight? If she gets any skinnier she'll have to go back to playing roles intended for teenagers!

Anyway, sad to say, the best movie I have seen in the past year or so was the Japanese movie, "Azumi". It's a live-action free-for-all based on a popular comic with a drop-dead gorgeous lead actress, entertaining and engaging support characters, and get this, a real storyline! My oh my! A movie with a story! Imagine that! Maybe one of these days Hollywood will take a page out of Casablanca go back to telling us a good story. All that flash and dazzle is nice, but a movie needs a story to tie it all together.

I've heard rumors "Pirates of the Carribbean" actually has a storyline. I am waiting with bated breath.


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