September 25, 2003

Radical Solutions for Radical Times

Mary Carey for Governor

I know, everyone favors the name power and Hollywood fame of Arnold. In truth, Arnold does have some interesting conventional ideas for solving California's problems. On the other hand, so did Gray Davis, the fool who got us into this mess to begin with. Mary Carey, on the other hand, has some silly, but nonetheless potentially trendsetting ideas for solving the problems of massive debt, staggering unemployment, the growing AIDS epidemic, and funding for hospitals and health care. To my own suprise, a visit to her website and a review of her speeches reveals that behind the headline setting silliness is a serious mind that has done considerable research into the problems and issues facing the next governor of California. True, she has some extreme ideas, such as offering porn videos to anyone who turns in a handgun and transforming the governor's mansion into a pay-per-view webcam site, but she also wants to encourage greater celebrity-backed charities for California hospitals and taxes on plastic surgery.

As an aside, it strikes me that Mary Carey's "taxes on breast implants" idea is absolutely ingenious! Cosmetic surgery is a multi-billion dollar luxury industry that does not pay any kind of sales or consumption taxes. Can you imagine a Hollywood director NOT paying taxes on his new Masseratti? So why doesn't his wife pay taxes on her liposuction belly and silicone breasts? The revenue generated by treating elective surgery as a consumer item has the potential to add millions to California coffers.

Let me close this "radical" note by adding that I've never seen a Mary Carey film or video, nor am I a member of her fan club. Prior to her bid for the governorship I'd never heard of her. However, despite having been a long time fan of Arnold, I'm hoping Mary takes the election by storm and wins by a landslide. Besides, I've always had a soft spot for an underdog.