October 04, 2014

A child is a person, not a possession

Huffington Post: White woman who sued sperm bank over black baby says it's not about race

This is one of the clearest examples of how deeply racist the progressive movement really is that I have ever read. I raised two sons to adulthood in a culture intolerant of difference and I can say from firsthand experience this woman's complaint is entirely the fault of her own racism. She is horrified her baby doesn't look like she does and if that is not the very definition of racism then I do not know what is. This is what happens when people are such self-absorbed narcissists that their own children are seen as nothing more than appendages of their personal self.

Some important quotes from the article:

"wanted their child to bear some resemblance to them"
"because Payton isn't completely white, Cramblett said the family will have to move away from their current home "
"a friend has spoken with her about his experience as a black child who was adopted by two white parents"
"I’m not able to give her that part of heritage"
"it's been difficult to figure out how to get her daughter's hair cut"
"even well-meaning comments about Payton’s appearance have led to uncomfortable situations"

Based on the woman's own words, it is brutally apparent to me that the problem is not her baby, the problem is her own sense of shame and guilt. Again, this is the very definition of racism.

Some people will surely say, "doesn't everyone want their baby to look like they do?"

My reply would be that even though it doesn't annoy me when someone says about one of my sons, "gosh, he looks just like you," neither do I find it flattering. Instead, I find it shallow. Yes, I know, that probably makes me the odd man out, which is why the "experts" suggested removing narcissistic personality disorder when DSM-V was edited to become DSM-VI. Our society has become so deeply self-absorbed and so profoundly narcissistic that we don't even recognize how completely destructive a narcissistic personality disorder is. Narcissism is incapable of self-based reform because narcissists see themselves as perfect. They cannot see their own flaws so they cannot acknowledge room for personal growth. As a result, they remain infantile and lacking in self-discipline their entire life long. Modern liberal progressivism is so wrapped up in personal crusades designed to grant them total control over everyone and everything around them that they never, ever stop to consider the very real likelihood not only are they unqualified to judge how others should live their lives, they have absolutely no right to do so. To the narcissist, their own sense of self and morality is perfect and therefore it is only natural to impose that same sense of self and morality on everyone else.

Unfortunately for the narcissist, people are people and every individual has the right to define their own identity and life purpose. Race is irrelevant to this quest for purpose and to a great extent, so is gender. When we truly focus on individuals instead of collectives then skin color becomes just another descriptive no different than eye color or hair color. The woman in this article, on the other hand, cannot see past her baby's "blackness". She is so wrapped up in collective identities that she has lost sight of her own individuality and as a direct result of this, she can neither recognize nor acknowledge her child's individuality. She defines herself by stereotype and she defines her child by stereotype. This kind of blind prejudice is exactly why I am no longer a liberal, despite being very active in liberal causes when I was young. I only truly began to grow as a person when I abandoned collective identities and stopped trying to conform to the image of myself that liberal "wisdom" tried to impose on me.

Payton (if you don't know who this is, go back and read the article at Huffington Post!) could easily grow up to be anything she dreams of. The only thing that will stop her is her mother's reliance on collective identity as she tries to force Payton into "appreciating" being "half-black". Being half-anything is an irrelevant and damaging burden to place on a child. I never, ever allowed such terminology in my house as my sons were growing up. When other people called them "half", I pointed they were not "half" anything, they were both. That means that as they grew and matured they did not have to conform to either culture but could pick and choose the things they liked from whatever influenced them most.

The last vestiges of barbarism in Western culture are the same elements that drive people to support terrorists. There is nothing sane or productive about defending the actions of men who hide behind women and children, slaughter innocent lives to "combat oppression", kill off any group who disagrees with them, or string the heads of their enemies from the powerlines of captured towns. There is nothing rational or progressive about considering Shari'a a "religious freedom", taking child brides as "cultural relevance", or sending thousands of rockets into unarmed neighborhoods as "defiance". Going to a sperm bank and seeking out a father based primarily on looks is no different then demanding the government regulate the size of sugary drinks and limit the amount of ammunition a pistol magazine can hold in reserve. All of these choices are based on the very mistaken belief that the person holding such views is more enlightened and better educated than anyone who does differently. Choosing a sperm donor based on "blond hair and blue eyes" is nothing more than pure narcissism. Trying to pretend that a lesbian relationship can produce a child is purely delusional right from the very beginning, but to then turn around and become furious when the child lacks the same racial characteristics as the lesbian couple making the choice is beyond insane. It is destructive to the child and condemning of the couple's ability to be good parents.

Unconditional love is not based on how someone looks. Every child needs the unconditional love and support of their parents. It does not surprise me when the mother of a murderer praises her child. It does surprise me when a woman takes on the responsibility of motherhood and then complains her child has the wrong skin color and uncooperative hair. That is not love. That is racism produced by a narcissistic personality disorder. Payton is not a piece of furniture. She is a person who needs unconditional love, clear teaching, careful nurturing, and the freedom to develop her own personality independent of the dreams of her parents.